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14 of my favourite computing quotes

Recursion – Unknown Author

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

Mistakes – Mitch Ratcliffe

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Deficiencies – C.A.R. Hoare

There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Idiot proof software – Rich Cook

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Unix is awesome, what is LSD? – Jeremy S. Anderson

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.

Code intelligently – Martin Golding

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Programming and sex – Michael Sinz

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.

Upwards compatibility – Dennie van Tassel

I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

Windows XP – Dave Barry

Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.’ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever’.

The dominant Internet – Nytwind

The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit.

Brute force – Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Error free programming – Alan Perlis

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

Debugging difficulties – Brian Kernighan

Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the first place. So if you’re as clever as you can be when you write it, how will you ever debug it?

The future – Alan Kay

The best way to predict the future is to implement it.

It’s magic! – Unknown Author

It’s code, not f***ing magic!

Posted in Funny on the 8th October 2010

2 people have spoken their minds!

  1. Paul W says:

    Missed one: “It’s code, not f*****g magic!”


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