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10 things you probably do not know about the Internet

Being a web developer and network manager I am often asked questions about the Internet, some of the answers I happen to give are not actually believed. Because of this, here is a list of facts that are completely true, certified by myself.

Internet Mouse

The Real Truth Behind The Internet

Fact One

The Internet has been around for just over 1200 years. Most believe the Internet has only recently came about, others think they’re correct in saying the Internet has been around since the late 50′s, but they are all wrong.

Fact Two
The Internet is powered by a green box on a highway in America. Within this green box are several mice that run on wheels producing a great deal of power and dictating the destination of incoming packets.

Fact Three
Contrary to popular belief, attempting to destroy this box in order to take down the Internet is not possible. The mice have deadly psychological issues, having ran in a wheel for the past 1200 years these mice are rather resentful.

It has been said that these mice have unexplainable powers. Of course, no one can confirm whether or not the mice actually have “special powers” as no one has actually returned from their mission to destroy the Internet. I recommend forgetting the idea as of right now.

Fact Four
Much debate has risen to the initial reasoning behind the Internet, the most popular being a method of communication that will not be interrupted by a nuclear war. None of these methods are actually true. However, I am afraid that informing you of the initial reasoning behind the upbringing of the Internet will in fact cost my life, I shall therefore not divulge this information.

Fact Five
Internet speeds initially started at 1MB/second. That is, one mouse bolting a second. The higher powers quickly changed the naming scheme to cover up the underlying truth of the Internet.

Fact Six
More mice in Africa use the Internet compared to human beings. This is, however, an obvious fact being that it was invented by them.

Fact Seven
Bill Gates is actually a mouse, despite being called a rat.

Fact Eight
Trapping and/or killing a mouse usually results in loss of Internet connection. When a mouse is invading your home, they are only looking for your router to perform diagnostics. Killing them is no different from killing the gas man for checking your gas meter. It’s unfair and somewhat crude so please have more respect.

Fact Nine
The term packets is a more formal way of saying “mouse droppings”. Loss of packets is usually down to lack of mouse food.

Fact Ten
Leap year was actually put in place to cover up the downtime produced by mice dyeing in the green box. This allows ISPs and web hosts to legally display an uptime off 24x7x365 – you may have noticed that, rarely, a host puts 365 days a year when advertising – this would be false advertising.

Posted in Funny on the 14th June 2010


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